brighter than sunshine

i didn’t believe in destiny/i look up you're standing next to me/what a feeling

he is sitting on one of the stools in Seattle’s Best, waiting for his drink to arrive. he sees my reflection walking towards him and for some reason, he chokes on his saliva.

"so," i say as i hand him a glass of water. "i take your breath away, huh?"

what a feeling in my soul/love burns brighter than sunshine/let the rain fall/i don't care

the following afternoon he picks me up from my house. it’s raining. "brighter than sunshine" plays in the background on the way to the Fort, where we were gonna shop for more college-looking clothes. "you're an accident waiting to happen," he told me once. he doesn't say it, but i bet he's thinking it when i step into a puddle in flip-flops.

i'm yours and suddenly you're mine

i slip on my first top.
"do you have a mirror?" i ask the salesman.
"no, sorry. ask your boyfriend, o! he's the best mirror."
our eyes simultaneously widen.
"he's not..." i begin.
"i'm not..." he continues.
we look at each other and pause.

i never saw it happening/i'd given up and given in/i just couldn't take the hurt again/what a feeling

he shopped in Rockwell and toured Makati Cinema Square alone for the three and a half hours i was in rehearsals. i feel guilty. and hungry. i apologize when i see him at the lobby of the building.

"it's okay anns! i made friends with Ronald."
"Ronald?!"
"McDonald!" he says and he hands me McDonald’s fries, a bottle of water, and DVDs of Rent and Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind. two movies i’d been itching to watch but somehow misplaced at home.

i didn't have the strength to fight/suddenly you seemed so right/me and you/what a feeling

after dinner in Polo Club, we head for Starbucks Madrigal. over Tazo tea and a caramel macchiato, my long-term memory kicks in.

"hey, we were here before. a long time ago."
"yeah, and you were teasing me that i had hidden desire for you."
"i was?!"
"yeah!"
"omigod! that is so me to say something like that. that turned out to be true, didn’t it?!"
"..."

truth is, it was actually i who had hidden desire for him because i had a crush on him the moment we met.

love will remain a mystery/but give me your hand and you will see/your heart is keeping time with me.

we made it through the month-and-a-half in constant trepidation. i don't know if we'll ever take that leap of faith. he and i never talk about what "we" are until alcohol makes us. i don't want to demand for labels. not just yet. while others ask for a Happily Ever After, i’m alright with Happy Right Now.

inertia

this is a harmless obsession
this intermittent intrusion
of your silhouette
upon my thought
framed with a soft click and a flash
and barred from further consideration
your laughter in dreams heard
awoken from and willfully forgotten

or maybe not

they intrude echoed in conversations
with people who are not like you
who are more than you
so i ask why you of all should engage
my neurons pulsating in tales flowing through words
suctioned into a wormhole of what-ifs
arrested into pretty pictures of false memory

of the rain pattering on street puddles
electric starlight winding
around shrubs through mist
cold railing the curb on which we slump
i could smell the smoke
clinging to your shirt and
i hated it

but why are you still here
stuck like the last song
is it the weather
is it your grin
is it just me bored, humming
a catchy, artless tune?
but all is well and hurtless

between us is no equivalence
here is no gravity
and i don’t believe
in free fall



[source]

Your Way with Words

You've once written half a sonnet for and about me.

Nobody else has written poetry for or about me before or after you. And that's probably what makes you so damn special until now.