Us
you and i -
slip and slide
between
these words
between the "you"
between the "i"
slipping
sliding
you and i
to come together,
lose the i
02 December 2010
17 November 2010
brighter than sunshine
i didn’t believe in destiny/i look up you're standing next to me/what a feeling
"so," i say as i hand him a glass of water. "i take your breath away, huh?"
what a feeling in my soul/love burns brighter than sunshine/let the rain fall/i don't care
i'm yours and suddenly you're mine
i slip on my first top.
"do you have a mirror?" i ask the salesman.
"no, sorry. ask your boyfriend, o! he's the best mirror."
our eyes simultaneously widen.
"he's not..." i begin.
"i'm not..." he continues.
we look at each other and pause.
i never saw it happening/i'd given up and given in/i just couldn't take the hurt again/what a feeling
he shopped in Rockwell and toured Makati Cinema Square alone for the three and a half hours i was in rehearsals. i feel guilty. and hungry. i apologize when i see him at the lobby of the building.
"it's okay anns! i made friends with Ronald."
"Ronald?!"
"McDonald!" he says and he hands me McDonald’s fries, a bottle of water, and DVDs of Rent and Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind. two movies i’d been itching to watch but somehow misplaced at home.
i didn't have the strength to fight/suddenly you seemed so right/me and you/what a feeling
"hey, we were here before. a long time ago."
"yeah, and you were teasing me that i had hidden desire for you."
"i was?!"
"yeah!"
"omigod! that is so me to say something like that. that turned out to be true, didn’t it?!"
"..."
truth is, it was actually i who had hidden desire for him because i had a crush on him the moment we met.
love will remain a mystery/but give me your hand and you will see/your heart is keeping time with me.
we made it through the month-and-a-half in constant trepidation. i don't know if we'll ever take that leap of faith. he and i never talk about what "we" are until alcohol makes us. i don't want to demand for labels. not just yet. while others ask for a Happily Ever After, i’m alright with Happy Right Now.
inertia
this is a harmless obsession
this intermittent intrusion
of your silhouette
upon my thought
framed with a soft click and a flash
and barred from further consideration
your laughter in dreams heard
awoken from and willfully forgotten
or maybe not
they intrude echoed in conversations
with people who are not like you
who are more than you
so i ask why you of all should engage
my neurons pulsating in tales flowing through words
suctioned into a wormhole of what-ifs
arrested into pretty pictures of false memory
of the rain pattering on street puddles
electric starlight winding
around shrubs through mist
cold railing the curb on which we slump
i could smell the smoke
clinging to your shirt and
i hated it
but why are you still here
stuck like the last song
is it the weather
is it your grin
is it just me bored, humming
a catchy, artless tune?
but all is well and hurtless
between us is no equivalence
here is no gravity
and i don’t believe
in free fall
[source]
this intermittent intrusion
of your silhouette
upon my thought
framed with a soft click and a flash
and barred from further consideration
your laughter in dreams heard
awoken from and willfully forgotten
or maybe not
they intrude echoed in conversations
with people who are not like you
who are more than you
so i ask why you of all should engage
my neurons pulsating in tales flowing through words
suctioned into a wormhole of what-ifs
arrested into pretty pictures of false memory
of the rain pattering on street puddles
electric starlight winding
around shrubs through mist
cold railing the curb on which we slump
i could smell the smoke
clinging to your shirt and
i hated it
but why are you still here
stuck like the last song
is it the weather
is it your grin
is it just me bored, humming
a catchy, artless tune?
but all is well and hurtless
between us is no equivalence
here is no gravity
and i don’t believe
in free fall
[source]
16 November 2010
Your Way with Words
You've once written half a sonnet for and about me.
Nobody else has written poetry for or about me before or after you. And that's probably what makes you so damn special until now.
Nobody else has written poetry for or about me before or after you. And that's probably what makes you so damn special until now.
24 October 2010
A Memory
It was a friend's birthday party, and they were just about to call it a night. The birthday girl took out mattresses and pillows and set them on the tiled living room floor. Those who were still awake found and took their spots on the floor.
She was near the television. They were to watch A Walk to Remember, at the request of one of her friends. She watched movies with such concentration and as she forgot her glasses, she needed to be near the screen. She took a long pillow and hugged it as she felt someone settling in beside her.
He lay on his side, facing her. He was the one who suggested the movie as that was his favorite. He was awfully close - she could feel his warm breath on her neck. Still, she paid him no mind as the movie started.
He didn't change his position all throughout the film. At one point, she could feel his arm settling comfortably against her back. She could even feel his fingers playfully tapping her back. Put she paid him no mind.
At one of the sweetest points of the movie, she heard him mumble. She wasn't quite sure of what he said, but she had a hunch. She thinks she heard the word love. Or maybe it was from the movie.
Nevertheless, she turned to him and gave him a confused look.
"What did you say?"
He sighed. "Nothing."
Though still confused, she shrugged and muttered a soft Okay. She turned her back on him and continued to watch. She could hear him let out a heavy sigh.
The movie eventually ended, and it was time to get some sleep. She agreed and turned, her body facing upward. Her left arm was at her side, while her right hugged a pillow that was covering her face.
She could feel him moving about next to her. She wasn't a heavy sleeper when in another house. But she didn't mind him. She too tends to be restless even in slumber.
A few minutes after, she felt a warm touch on her hand. She opened her eyes, but didn't move. Suddenly, she felt fingers entwining with hers.
He was holding her hand, holding it tight, as if letting it go would be a sin.
Thoughts suddenly rushed through her head. She thinks she's dreaming, and slightly pinched herself. She felt a little sting.
It was real.
Liquor couldn't be blamed - they didn't drink any at the party. Did he confuse her hand with someone else's?
Why was he holding her hand?
She then started to shift the position of her left arm, causing their hands to untangle. A few seconds after, she could feel his hand travelling the space between their bodies, seemingly looking for hers.
He found his way to her hand and held it again, gripping it tighter than before. She tried to pay him no mind and drifted to sleep.
She didn't know how long they stayed that way, but when she woke up, his hand was still there. She turned to him and whispered, "I think it's time to get up."
He groaned and mumbled something about still being sleepy.
"I think we have to go."
He seemed to agree as he squeezed her hand. Then he let go.
Four years after and she still doesn't know why he did what he did that night. They never spoke about and she never really asked. She's not sure she wants to know, and judging by how he is, she might never find out.
She was near the television. They were to watch A Walk to Remember, at the request of one of her friends. She watched movies with such concentration and as she forgot her glasses, she needed to be near the screen. She took a long pillow and hugged it as she felt someone settling in beside her.
He lay on his side, facing her. He was the one who suggested the movie as that was his favorite. He was awfully close - she could feel his warm breath on her neck. Still, she paid him no mind as the movie started.
He didn't change his position all throughout the film. At one point, she could feel his arm settling comfortably against her back. She could even feel his fingers playfully tapping her back. Put she paid him no mind.
At one of the sweetest points of the movie, she heard him mumble. She wasn't quite sure of what he said, but she had a hunch. She thinks she heard the word love. Or maybe it was from the movie.
Nevertheless, she turned to him and gave him a confused look.
"What did you say?"
He sighed. "Nothing."
Though still confused, she shrugged and muttered a soft Okay. She turned her back on him and continued to watch. She could hear him let out a heavy sigh.
The movie eventually ended, and it was time to get some sleep. She agreed and turned, her body facing upward. Her left arm was at her side, while her right hugged a pillow that was covering her face.
She could feel him moving about next to her. She wasn't a heavy sleeper when in another house. But she didn't mind him. She too tends to be restless even in slumber.
A few minutes after, she felt a warm touch on her hand. She opened her eyes, but didn't move. Suddenly, she felt fingers entwining with hers.
He was holding her hand, holding it tight, as if letting it go would be a sin.
Thoughts suddenly rushed through her head. She thinks she's dreaming, and slightly pinched herself. She felt a little sting.
It was real.
Liquor couldn't be blamed - they didn't drink any at the party. Did he confuse her hand with someone else's?
Why was he holding her hand?
She then started to shift the position of her left arm, causing their hands to untangle. A few seconds after, she could feel his hand travelling the space between their bodies, seemingly looking for hers.
He found his way to her hand and held it again, gripping it tighter than before. She tried to pay him no mind and drifted to sleep.
She didn't know how long they stayed that way, but when she woke up, his hand was still there. She turned to him and whispered, "I think it's time to get up."
He groaned and mumbled something about still being sleepy.
"I think we have to go."
He seemed to agree as he squeezed her hand. Then he let go.
Four years after and she still doesn't know why he did what he did that night. They never spoke about and she never really asked. She's not sure she wants to know, and judging by how he is, she might never find out.